Inside the mind of a Jade

Please Vote for Me :)

2011-04-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

Hello my lovely blog readers, this is just a very cheeky post to ask you to vote for me in a facebook modelling competition for Lipsy dresses :D

All you need to do is click on the following link for the facebook application, accept it, then click "View Entries and Vote", then "Most Voted" (top right on the page) then I'm on the 1st page (4th at the moment) under "Jade Wong Smith".

http://apps.facebook.com/lipsypixiemodels/

I would be incredibly grateful if you would help me with this :D
All my love,

Jade xxxxx

To all of my online friends/ex-friends

2011-02-05T17:42:00.000-08:00

So lately I'll admit I've not been the best person to get intouch with and this means that some of my friendships have started to slide a bit (or a lot in some cases), especially with the online people of my life. The thing is though, although I've not been around lots I do feel that I make an effort with people - if I'm online I'll say hello on skype/msn/whatever, or I'll facebook/tweet/text people - so I don't think it's my entirely my fault that these friendships have become a bit false.

It makes me really sad that I've grown apart from people because these are people that I thought were not only friends but in many cases people that I've been closer to and told things that I've told almost no-one else; people that I've trusted with every secret I have in life, have been closer to in many ways than just about anyone, and people that I genuinely thought would always be there for me. I wish I had a way of reconnecting with these people but no matter what I do it never seems to be enough. Last year I attended gatherings, texted more and just generally attempted to be around more, but even then my efforts felt laboured because it felt that I wasn't actually wanted. Sure, people were friendly but in the same way that people are friendly to a stranger that they've met a few times. It just didn't, and doesn't, feel like these people want me in their lives anymore. It feels really depressing not to be wanted as a friend, it's not even about being needed or anything like that, it's just about knowing people you thought cared really don't and probably never really did. If people cared surely they'd want to know where the hell you'd been of late? why they hadn't seen you online? maybe they'd drop you a friendly text or even just send a message on skype or something to show that despite not talking they do infact miss you being in their lives.

I'm very sorry that this blog seems so depressing, I guess all I wanted to say is that I really value all my friends - even the ones who I don't talk to as much anymore. I want you to know that although we're not as close, I still deeply care about you and want to know about your lives. I want to be your friend as much as ever, but more than anything I'd kill for a sign to say you actually want to be mine, because there's nothing worse than hassling someone who doesn't want to talk to you - and I really don't want to annoy people by trying to talk to them when they don't want to hear from me.

Anyway, so if I haven't spoken to you lately chances are I miss you, if you miss me and want to get in touch please do. I'll be looking forwards to anyone who does :) ... I've just remembered that no-one reads this blog and therefore I'll look forward to continuely missing you all :(

xxxx

Dedication to Spice

2010-12-18T16:25:00.000-08:00

For those of you who weren't fortunate enough to meet her, Spice was my cat. Yesterday I arrived home from university to find out she'd passed away last week in her sleep; my mum hadn't told me before because she knew how upset I'd get and didn't want that for my last week.

Now there will be those of who haven't had pets before and who will probably bare the attitude of 'but it's only a cat', and 'get over it' etc etc., but a few of you will have/have had a pet you really loved and will therefore understand my utter dismay over the situation. It sounds really pathetic but it's as though a member of my family has died. Spice may have been a cat but she has been present in my household for the last 8 years, she's been there day and night, getting up to mischief and bringing much love and happiness to everyone. She used to come to you if you were sad or needed a cuddle, and if a member of my family was ill she would lay on their bed and watch over them worried. Every single night she would curl up on my bed when I went to sleep and stay there until I got up, she'd sulk when I went back to uni and used to climb into my suitcase and bags to try and stop me going, then when I'd return she'd be all hissy and stroppy with me for the first few hours before forgiving me. In short, Spice was an extremely loving and caring cat, who had her own personality and habits much like a human does. This is why it is so devastating to lose her.

I have never met a person who disliked Spice, she was universally loved - even by cat haters. My bestfriend Sophie absolutely detests cats but adored Spice and got extremely upset when I told her the news. Similarly, my aunt who is a huge dog lover and my nan both were both dismayed by her passing. I never really realised just how popular Spice was until now, so many people have been upset by the news - and she even had a song dedicated to her by a heavy metal band that influenced Metallica! (I don't know their name but the singer is friends with my brother and so had met Spice). Everyone loved her because she was so crazily friendly and caring, she let anyone play with her and was forever friendly - never biting or anything vicious.

I feel incredibly lucky to have had such a wonderful pet in my life and I don't think any other cat will ever come close to being such a loving critter. I am going to miss her with the whole of my heart and it has been the greatest shock to lose her. You may think I'm a little bit like a crazy cat lady or the likes but I really don't care; Spice was always there for me when I wanted a cuddle or was ill, and was forever amusing us all with her adorable little ways, in some ways a lot more than many humans have been for me.

So rest in peace my little cat, I am going to miss you so much.

xxxxxx

Natural Beauty

2010-09-07T15:03:00.000-07:00

"Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination."

- Voltaire

(photo taken from http://www.cheapshooter.com/2008/08/06/water-droplet-photography-a-cool-and-easy-macro-exercise/)

Whilst looking for the perfect quotation for this image (which I failed in doing) I found a different one which is pretty relevant to my life at the moment, and I'm really hoping for that happy chance:

'We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.'
~W. Somerset Maugham

I think it is probably one of the most accurate and concise quotations I've read, none of this 'Love is never ever going to end or anything' crap, it's realistic and deals with the idea of change. People do change, it seems the most stupid thing to say but they do; I'm not saying that one day someone will wake up and be entirely different but over time a person's taste and attitude is bound to evolve and alter. As per usual I'm really not sure where I'm going with this - I only originally wanted to blog that photo! - but yes, I found that quotation very refreshing and can only hope I continue to be loved.

Bournemouth and friends

2010-09-05T16:24:00.000-07:00

This blog's a bit pointless, ssspointless, but heyho I received a nice text from Dom earlier so decided to write one since someone actually reads this!! Last week I went to Bournemouth avec a lot of the youtube lot to support the RNLI with their 'Life's a Beach' gig. It was really lovely and sunny, and a lot of people that I adore showed up so I had a rawly good time, just wish it was longer!! Here's some sexy photos from the event, (oh and yes I am wearing my rather short denim daisy dukes, judge me if you want but it was hot, they're pretty and I happen to like my legs so fu):

Since I've been back I've caught up with some of my best friends from back home and just chilled, has been dead lovely and I'm looking forwards to going clubbing with them all later in the week. I really do adore all my friends from here and uni, but it's definitely very different when I meet up with the 'online' folk, they always seem far more enthused to see you and just generally like they're there to have a laugh and goodtime. I guess it's because we see each other a lot less and you know everyone's made quite an effort to be there.

Hmm, I don't really know where this blog is going at all, so I'll just say I'm missing everyone a lot (including the people who didn't come to Bournemouth) and I love you all,

x

Society, Appearance and Feminism

2010-08-26T17:46:00.001-07:00

Heya there bloggers,

So a few friends of mine were just discussing their appearances on twitter and how society affects not only how individuals view theirselves, but also how others view them. I know there's also been a lot of emphasis on this from the press recently, people discussing whether air-brushing is moral and right, or whether it promotes eating disorders and unrealistic images for girls and boys alike. Now I agree that society's portrayal of the female figure is so distorted in magazines and on television with size 0 models who are 6ft parading themselves for all to see, and yes this is very bad because it gives a completely unrealistic image for people to look up to. Also air brushing needs to stop please? There is nothing wrong with natural imperfections! However, I don't think the media is solely to blame for the disillusionment of people.

I will quite happily admit that of late I have not been terribly pleased at all with my body shape, you see I have always been a size 6-8 but then when I got to University I put on a fair amount and have now gone up to a 8-10. Now I can hear heckles already and people saying wtf that's still skinny, quit complaining, shut up etc. etc. and yes I know I am still slender, but my entire life people - not the media - but family, friends, strangers, anyone, have complimented and mentioned my slightness and how skinny I am, they have sometimes made fat jokes to me purely because I'm not... To a certain degree my weight and size defined me: 'Jade, that's the skinny girl with the long brown hair', and so by putting on weight it feels like I'm not me anymore, I've lost part of my identity. I don't blame the media for this, I don't blame anyone as it goes, but I think that my fears of weight and image trouble clearly stems from myself and the people around me, rather than air-brushed models and advertisements.

Now the last part of my blogpost's title, feminism. As previously mentioned I am not the happiest about my body shape, but I do love to make an effort and dress up whenever I can. I love high heels, mini skirts, dresses - long or short, daisy dukes, hot pants, pretty tops and general pretty clothing. I think it's nice to make an effort, and I don't do it for anyone but myself, because when I feel good I'm more of a confident and happy person. Now, I would also classify myself as a feminist as I believe highly in gender equality and the independence of the female sex. However, apparently I cannot be a feminist and also enjoy wearing these sorts of clothing as it is objectification. Bollocks to that. By wearing a piece of clothing I do not become an object, if we're talking from a male perspective if a man judges a girl in a skirt and sees her as 'a piece of meat', they will do exactly the same to a woman covered up butsee her as a prude. Wearing high heels and a mini skirt makes me feel confident and less of a wilting flower, not because I become desireable or sexual, but because I feel proud of being female. Sure objectification does exist but so does women and female empowerment. A woman can feel empowered to pursue a certain career, say become a successful lawyer, but then equally they could feel just as independent and self-fullfilled by becoming a pole dancer.

So yes, overall I just wanted to add a new take on this whole society and the media means everyone's epicly wanting surgery etc. because sometimes that's not always the case. Equally, someone can believe in women empowerment and also appreciate 'objectifying' clothing or jobs. This blog isn't terribly articulate but it's 2.21am so please forgive me!

Love xxxxx

P.S. I know many people won't agree with me on any of this, but please do not ridicule or be offensive about my opinions. Everyone's entitled to their views and this is mine.

Year 1 at University Complete

2010-08-15T17:45:00.000-07:00

So I finished my first year of University a while ago now (back in June) and it's only now that I've bothered to look back at everything and realised just how much of an amazing time I had. I didn't really write much on my blog during the last year, but to sum it up my year was a lot of hard work, a lot of messy nights keeping pace with the lads, a lot of being woken up to sex/music/people passed out/pranks, a hell of a lot of drinking games, and an insane amount of dressing up... I'd assume pretty standard for Uni.

Anyway, I just thought I'd post a few of my favourite photos of the year...

End of Year Ball :)

Becky's Baaa-irthday (she's Welsh)

Room Raping Becky :)

Bad Taste Night

Sing Off :)

Christmas :)

Cops and Robbers

Random Lulz :)

So ummm yeah there's a million photos I could have chosen but these were all very fun/fun outfits :D

xxxxxxxxxx

Uni Ups and Downs

2009-10-01T13:42:00.001-07:00

So I haven't put anything on my blog in an age, this is because I've been extremely busy moving up t'north for university :) I've been here over a week now and although I've already got fresher's flu and am in a whole new realm of shattered I loveeee it here! It's amazingly green and nice on campus and everyone is so so friendly and helpful. Plus the social atmosphere is MENTAL! I really don't know if I'll be able to manage the full two weeks of freshers, I'm practically dead already and exhaustedddd - drifted off in 2/3 of my lectures so far haha - oops!

Anyway asides from the funtimes university can have a few downpoints to it, now don't get me wrong I absolutely love it here but it's just starting to hit me how far all my family, friends and boyfriend are. After seeing my bestfriends and boyf everyday for the last 4 months it's pretty horrible now being close to any of them now, and it's so frigging expensive to go and see them!! :( Most people in my hall are icky and ill right now (although still partying it up) so the mood-level is pretty meh-ish as more people are getting homesick and stuffs.

Hopefully it'll start getting better when I get better... <3

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Onwards and Upwards

2009-09-02T15:38:00.000-07:00

Note to blog readers: this blog could appear gloatish but I'm happy so sod it.

So to put it quite frankly my life is looking pretty much amazing right now and I am so excited, and looking forwards to the future! :) Since my last post I've sorted out the majority of financey and admin-related stuff about University and so 3 weeks today (23rd Sept) I will officially be braving the big wide world and moving out of the safety-net of my house. Well, some may say University is another safety-net in itself and not really the big wide world at all, but I will be in about 7k's worth of debt already and living in my own place, which is a pretty huge step in my opinion.

Oh and today I emailed my tutor asking if I can transfer to the joint-honours degree in Drama and English which they've introduced this year rather than the Drama with a minor in English that I was previously going to do. Hopefully I'll be able to transfer so the two subjects will be equally weighted meaning I get to do a lot more englishy stuff wheyyyy!! =D

So overall at the moment I have university to look forwards to, my casual-hours job starting up again so I can earn monies before uni and whenever I fancy and a boyfriend who is utterly amazing, I think that makes me a bloody lucky girl!! Let's just hope that my luck holds out for the future :)

I really hope everyone is well and that SITC was amazing (Reading '09 was), love you all!

xxxxxxxxxx

EEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK

2009-08-19T22:15:00.000-07:00

OMFGGG YAYYYYYYYY!

"Congratulations! Your place at ***** University to study Drama with English (W4Q3) has been confirmed."

So so so worth not being able to sleep!! :)

Good luck to everyone today!

xxxxxxxxxxxx

SHAGALUFFFF

2009-07-16T05:39:00.000-07:00

So not to break from tradition like most year 13s on the 6th July I trecked off to one of the chavviest club resorts going to get drunk and have fun, bit of a rite of passage really :) Sophie Ellie Steff and I went to Magaluf/Palma Nova and it was pretty epic loltimes.

Had an epic time, just some advice: DO NOT EVER GO TO A FOAM PARTY.

...Now Move, Move, Shake, Shake, now Drop, what your mumma sayyyyy?

"HELLO CHICKEN NUGGET"
"WHERE'S MY FISH FINGER?"

xxxxxxxxxxx

prompromprompromprom :)

2009-06-29T11:44:00.000-07:00

On Saturday 27th June I had my long awaited end of sixthform prom at the Thistle Hotel at Marble Arch, it was truly amazing! :) Since I've been going on it for the past 6 months or so.. probably longer (!) I thought I'd put up some photos for you all to see =]

Hope you're all well!! Lots of Love, Jade xxxx

-p.s. yes that is the boyfriend <3 <3
-p.p.s. 1 week until magaluf/1 month until malta eeek!

FINISHED!

2009-06-20T07:40:00.000-07:00

Hey there guess who's back? well considering this is my blog it's pretty obvious; it's MEEEEEEEEEE :)

Finished my last exam yesterday so WHEYYY NO MORE A-LEVELS! It was pretty strange leaving sixthform for the last time (bar head girl's day) yesterday, after being there pretty much everyday for the last 7 years I'm going to miss it quite a bit :(

Ah well at least it means that it is officially SUMMER! YAYAYAY! And with a social calender that has got me busy pretty much everday from now until September I'm pretty glad for that :) Right Magaluf, Malta, Reading, Southampton, Hastings, Prom and Headgirlsday here I come!

Byebyebyebye and congratulations to everyone else who's finished :]

xxxxxxxxxxxx

16 hours and 35 minutes

2009-06-05T05:16:00.001-07:00

You can totally ignore this blog, it's here purely because I love lists and being able to cross things off of lists - gosh I'm so sad!! So anyway here's a list of exams until I'm free from sixthform:

- DT Exam (90 minutes)
- DT Exam (3 hours)
- English War Literature (3 hours)
- English Hamlet & Byron (2 hours)
- Nazi German History (105 minutes)
- TS Arturo Ui + Rivals (90 minutes)
- British History (1 hour)
- TS Brecht + Unseen (150 minutes)

So I guess over the next 2 weeks I'm going to spend 16 hours and 35 minutes in exams WHEY.

Right not to vote?

2009-06-03T08:31:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow is the 4th June and with that comes the European election. Now I know there has been a lot of controversy surrounding MP's recently and their expenditures, and many people are obstaining from voting in order to 'punish' the main parties but is this really the way to deal with things? This blog isn't to try and influence your opinions or beliefs but just me wondering whether people really should not vote to prove a point. Sure if you don't vote you aren't supporting a main party and 'teaching' them a lesson, but then again if you don't vote you can't complain about how the country's being run because by not voting you are taking the opportunity to help decide how the country is run and throwing it away.

My own personal opinion is that you really should vote tomorrow and if you don't you can't complain about how our government is run. It wasn't until 1918 that there was a universal male franchise and until 1928 that all women could vote as well so it has only been relatively recently that we've all had the power to make our voices heard when it comes to Parliament and I think that we should appreciate that priviledge. When you consider the many riots, protests and extra-parliamentary pressure that previous generations went through to get the universal franchise for us I think it's pretty offensive to just sit here and say 'ah can't be bothered to go down to polling station and tick a box'. I don't just mean the suffragettes and suffragists btw, I mean everyone from those who impacted on the 1832 reform with the Peterloo Massacre to those who went to conducted the Hyde Park riots (ohmygod this is pretty much British history revision).

Sophie just tweeted the following:
"my dad asked me why i'm not voting tonight. I said "Because politics has failed my generation and taught me diddly squit about it" fair?"
and although I agree to an extent because maybe our generation hasn't been taught a lot about voting I think that it's down to an individual to find out about politics themselves. You can't rely on the education system to teach you everything in life, sometimes you need to take time to sit down and read up on situations and news in order to progress anywhere. I do believe that more about politics should be taught in schools but I disagree that it has failed our generation as there are as many people my age that understand what's going on as those you don't.

So anyway this is just my little blog about voting and all that razmataz and if you want the ability to make a difference in how this country is being run, or the right to be able to criticise those in power I really suggest you go and vote tomorrow.

xxxxxxx

P.S I'm sorry if I've offended anyone by the contents of this blog.

Blog Followers and Stuff

2009-06-01T12:51:00.000-07:00

So the other day I noticed that the number of people subscribed to my blog through google reader has risen dramatically in the last few weeks; I'm assuming that the BBC Blast twitter tweeting it had something to do with that... so HEY NEW READERS! If you did start reading because of the BBC and were expecting some kind of half intellectual and informative banter you're probably following the wrong blog so sorry :] Thanks anyway!! Ugh I must admit it's now rather daunting writing on here because before I was writing to myself and a few close friends, whereas now I have nooo idea who's reading.

So my exams start Friday and I've been revising frantically, ugh I absolutely detest exams so much. I can't wait for them to be over, although I've just come to the realisation that I'm not going to be home barely at all this Summer (1 week in magaluf, 2 1/2 weeks in malta, a short week in reading etc). Initially I was dead happy about this but now I'm a bit bleugh because I'm moving to the Midlands for Uni and so I'm not going to see a lot of my friends and it would have been nice to have the Summer with them =/ Ah wells, I'll make time somehow lol.

Anyway that's all I really wanted to say, hope everyone's well!!

<3 xxxxxxxxx

Right Now..

2009-05-29T04:08:00.000-07:00

I am completely and irrevocably, head over heels, tumbling down a large hill, in love..

..and I couldn't possibly be happier <3 :)

So today people are trecking up to bonnie Scottishland for fun and giggles but alas I am stuck here in London revising for my alevels which start on Friday. Actually that's a lie, I'm not revising but heyho nevermind I'll cram in a bit.. I haven't been online much recently because I've been a busy busy bee!! Revisioning and exam prep has been pretty hectic, plus last Friday as the end of school so since then I've been out on the lash everynight/working, has been mega funs but I'm now ill :( Think I overdid it a bit :( James has returned to Soton now too which sucks, but at least I can get some work done... maybe... well that's the plan lol. I just read Lex and I totally resent her 2 and a half week gap during exams, ah I wish I was that lucky!! ahh well I shall write soon, and it might be a tad more coherent than this - but then again, maybe it won't be.

BYE <3

BBC Blast Get Creative

2009-05-11T13:55:00.000-07:00

Why hello there interwebs world! So this week has started off pretty awesomely :) Today I was lucky enough to go and see the studio for the BBC Blast Get Creative Project which is opening to the public tomorrow and I really think you should get involved!!

Some of you may have seen the tweets about it from Sophie, Ed or Doug who were all there or caught us on camera here: http://www.blastgetcreative.com so I thought I should explain!!

The BBC Blast Get Creative campaign is an online art creativity project that you can all get involved in! Basically inside the studio there is various art projects that are all controlled by options chosen by you through your laptop! For instance there is a paintball machine where you can select the colour you wish to use and exactly how and where you want to hit the wall, the machine then goes and does it for you! :) And this is available to everyone at the website!!

To see all the wonderful photos that I took and to get a better understanding of each of the wonderful art pieces you can take part in go here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=94603&id=532151956

http://www.blastgetcreative.com
GOES LIVE MAY 12TH AT MIDDAY.

I challenge you to be the first to launch a paintball!!
Jade xxxxxxx

p.s. I will be making a video about this too (ZOMGZWTFBBQ JADES MAKING A VIDEO?!)

Oh hello there world.

2009-05-06T09:57:00.000-07:00

Herro there interwebs world I am very excited and happy right now!

Despite everyone telling me I should be knuckling down with exam prep and revision I can't help but find myself dilly-dallying through life really not caring anymore. I sat down yesterday and worked out that I only need 3Cs and a D in my A2 exams in order to get straight Bs this year, or 4Bs to get straight As so that's all dandy and I'm not at all worried =] I also found out that I got an A in my English CWK and DT CWK meaning that I've already secured just under 30% of my Eng grade and 60% of my DT so yay :) I suppose this shows that all that stressing over CWK and *ahem* revision for AS-levels was worthwhile!!

I also got an email on friday from the BBC asking if I wanted to be involved in their BBC blast project so obviously I said yes and now on Monday I get to go and do awesome stuff in the BBC Blast Studio! =D Am so excited it sounds like so much fun!! Doug also got asked to do it today so if he goes I'll know someone too *yays*.

1 month 21 days until prom :)
2 months today until Magaluf with Sophie!
2 months and 23days until MALTA!!! WHEYYYY

Not only is all this exciting stuffs going down but I also got to go and see my lovely boyfriend in Southampton at the weekend ands I get to see him next week so happyhappytimes!

<3 Love you all lots,

Jade xxxxxxxx

Hello Jade Are You Still Alive?

2009-04-24T11:10:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I got a youtube message asking if I was still alive and obviously the answer is yes. I am still here but I felt that I should explain my sudden disappearance from most sites etc.. and no it's nothing to do with "the purge".

Firstly my exams start on the 19th May and go til the 19th June so I've been busy revising and writing essays for them. I've also got bundles of cwk due this week for moderation so chances are I've been doing that.

Secondly the interwebs bores me a lot now. I find myself using it purely to check my emails, read blogs, occasionally tweet and check facebook. Asides from these I don't really find anything's interesting me anymore, and yes that includes youtube *gasp*. Now don't get me wrong that doesn't mean I haven't been watching all your videos because if your what I would call a friend I have been watching them because I like you and your creativity, but to be honest (and as eliteist as this will sound) I don't find many people outside our friendship group interest me anymore. Sorry about that but hey it's just my own personal opinion.

Lastly I have a lot of things going on in my non-interwebs life occupying me at the moment and I feel as though I've invested so much time in the past year in my internet friends that my other friends have taken a backseat. So in essense I've been talking and spending a lot of time with old friends meaning I have less time to chat on MSN/make videos/skype etc etc.

This doesn't mean I don't love you all though and I'm not planning on doing an epic disappearing act but I just may not be around as much. Sorry about that but those who want to stay in touch with me can, most of you have my number/email/etc etc. and no doubt you'll see me very soon anyway :)

I do miss you all <3

xxxxxxxxx

P.S. I don't like the new youtube and I think that nearly all the changes they've made are shite, which is another reason for my lack of warmth towards it of late.

Now.

2009-04-19T13:17:00.000-07:00

So lately I've been tetchy about what I write on my blog because I'm aware that a fair amount of my irl friends have taken to glancing it over etc. and also because I'm aware that a fair few of my online friends don't want to hear about certain aspects of my life, but now I've come to the conclusion that it's my blog and I've always intended to use it to document my feelings/events so I can look back later and think "oh my good god I was a twat back then"... so essentially if you don't like what I'm writing unfollow me and don't read this blog. Simple.

This past week and a bit has been mega lovely, cemented friendships with old friends, sparked up friendships with new friends, rid myself of some negative life aspects also met a certain lovely guy :) So yes this Easter Holidays has probably been one of the best times of this year. I've seen a lot of my online friends and rl friends, like at Dave's etc. and it's just been so much fun. I feel like even though I've done jackshite in relationship to coursework/revision etc. I've accomplished a lot in other areas.

However as awesome as this holiday has been it has also had more poignant moments. Today I found myself in a very difficult situation and didn't know how to react/what to do, I still don't know the outcome of it. I can't really go into it because it involves a close friend and it's their business but it made me re-evaluate some aspects of life. I've realised the fragility of life and how easily it can be taken from us, I mean I already have had a few dealings with death etc. but I don't think I quite comprehended just how easy it can be to lose a friend and how quickly. You can be chatting quite happily on the phone to them one hour and then a few hours later they're gone, and that's it; that friendship and relationship can become extinct in a fraction of a second.

So anyway this blog is rather pointless, I'm just trying to realliterate things to myself and understand it in my head since it's all up in the air right now. I really really hope that everyone who reads this knows I will ALWAYS be here for you. I love you all, and no matter how often we talk nowadays or the situations of our friendships I am a text away if anyone needs me.

Meh, I honestly do love you all so so so much and wouldn't know what to do if I lost any of you <3 I hope there's a gathering soon.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Silver Lining

2009-04-11T08:17:00.000-07:00

So I was very annoyed that my boss is making me work today because it meant I couldn't go to Winchester this weekend with everyone :( but at least I got to see everyone for four hours or so yesterday so yay at that!! Hope everyone's having a great time!!

On another note if I were in Winchester I wouldn't have received my mail today and in that mail was my cheque/paperwork/DVD for the confused.com ad *yay*. Monies = win!! Even more win than the cheque itself was that upon watching the 6 new ads they've made I'm only in one and it's just doing a random drawing thing, meaning that barely anyone will realise it's me and if they do at least I don't look a prick! So yes, monies + very little embarassing content = happy Jade. win!!

Benloka's in a few of the ads, his bits hilarious so look out for it! :)

Anywho I'm off to get ready for work and then go to a party so byeeeee

xxxxxx

Confused.com

2009-04-06T13:40:00.000-07:00

Today I got an email from the people who make adverts for confused.com saying they were going to use my clip in their tv advert and now I'm like ahhhh =/ Before I sent them anything I asked people what they thought and people were either dead for it or against it.

I decided to do it because I figured that since I'm already on youtube people can already see me in videos so nothing's really changed. Only thing is that being a relatively small youtuber I don't really have to deal with haters and nasty people but I realised this advert's going to reach a far larger audience than my video and so potentially I could receive a lot more negativity. I hope this isn't the case or I'll be mega sad :( I don't even know what clips they're using of me so it should be interesting *ahem*.

I hope I don't look too much of a twat lol, ummm talk soon :)

xxxxxxxxx

Dave in a Cave

2009-04-05T13:21:00.000-07:00

So today I got home after a 3 day stint in Derby/Nottingham to see the lovely Dave (musicfromblueskies) play a pretty epic gig in a cave. and when I say cave I mean a genuine underground chalk cave with fairy lights that was hidden behind a pub, was so cool :]

anywho the gig was really really fun, I have a tiny bit of footage that I'll put in a video or something but here's a photo of the musicman:

Friday:
- went to Derby with Sophie, Cheekychen and Ivens
- watched some shite horror films until 3.30am

Saturday:
- woke up to see a lovely Tom Prodinc downstairs
- watched crystal maze/gladiators
- Johnny D, Alex, Jon and Kev arrived :)
- went to a park and had a picnic/played ultimate frizbee
- went to the gig had an immense time
- back at Dave's we made lethal milkshakes including a mixture of: lemon sorbet, a galaxy bar, an entire packet of starburst, a piece of bread, 6 grapes and a bannana. it was disgusting.
- had lots of lulz.
- some people made a fail of a cake in a mug LOL.

anyway epic weekend, loveyouall <3 <3

xxxxxxxxx

p.s. try the milkshakes above at your peril.

I love a lot of you (edited)

2009-02-22T13:57:00.000-08:00

This is just a silly message to everyone I met up with over the weekend, and a fair few more of you, to say I love you. I firmly believe that the word love is overused but after thinking about it I realise that I really do love every single one of you :) You're all absolutely amazing and collectively the loveliest bunch of people I've ever met, I hope that we all stay in contact throughout the coming years :]

Thank you Tom for this weekend it was really great <3 and Happy belated Birthday!!

xxxxxxxxx

I'm sorry this'll appear in your readers twice but after reading Tom's blogs I felt it necessary to add a few memories.

1. IT'S CHRISHMASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (Can I haz a woot woot)
2. YAY I got to meet Dom <3 and he's cooler than you =]
3. OMG free buses in Southampton!! I mean, we haz free buses for fulltime educationers but that's absurd for everyone!
4. Waking up with awesomers and watching oldschool gladiators/crystal maze = how I'd like to spend every day please?

SWANNEH

2009-02-16T17:44:00.001-08:00

HALLO I R HUNGRY SWAN...
IAN I'M COMING FOR YOU.

BACKKKK (ish)

2009-02-15T06:09:00.000-08:00

Okay so my drama assessment was Friday 13th and I must say went amazingly well, it was the first ever year the entire year group got straight A's for their combined performance/portfolios/prep marks :) I got 92/100 overall for everything woot woot :] Thanks to everyone who wished me luck/breaking of bones/congratulations etc.

So anywho now that major stressage is out of the way I still have an absolute tonne of work but I'll be around online again woot woot :) So glad it's half term too, means I can finally catch up on my abundance of essays etc! Hope everyone's well and that jazz - I look forwards to catching up with everyone <3

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Coursework

2009-02-03T13:44:00.000-08:00

So on Friday at school my drama teacher decides to announce, "Oh don't forget your portfolios are due next Friday, it has to be then or you won't get a grade." This was the first I'd heard of it; essentially she just hadn't told us before so I then had a week to do my 30 odd page portfolio.

Tried to motivate myself at the weekend to do it, got a few pages done but very very little. So today, having been blessed with another snowday off school I decided to knuckle down. I've done about 3/4's done but I'm now so mentally exhausted I can't do anymore and I've just realised that I've got an English presentation on 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest' to present tomorrow, plus a 3hr drama rehearsal. UGH.

Anywho this is just to say that I probably won't be on much these next two weeks: I've got my drama portfolio deadline, all my DT project due, a drama performance evening next Weds and my A-Level drama assessment next Friday (which I need to learn a 35pg script for).

Talk to you all when this sudden tonne of coursework's disappeared off my to-do list,

<3 xxxxxxxx

So I heard it was snowing?

2009-02-02T08:04:00.000-08:00

I love how it snows in England and everyone goes completely mental, sign into youtube/twitter/facebook it's like OMG ITS SNOWING LOOK LOOK LOOKS :] Makes me oddly happy that something as simple as frozen water can bring so much joy =] I also made a snowman I'd like you all to meet; this is Sam the Eliteist snowman. Unfortunately he doesn't have shoes you can shine (as Sophie pointed out to me).

Here in the southeast the snow's currently more than 7inches thick and it has now been snowing continuously for 20hours or so *looks out window* it doesn't look like it's going to stop anytime soon either. All the buses in London, trains and that have been stopped and my college and work were shut today so yayz!! I completely wasted the day though which was silly seeing as I have a tonne of coursework oh wells.

Anywho hope you're all enjoying the snow :]

Love, xxxxxxxxxxx

p.s. I now have a flickr account (littlemissjadeykins) add me as a friend <3

'The Group'

2009-01-14T18:28:00.000-08:00

So I just had an interesting chat with someone who tbh is a fairly good friend of mine and always has been on youtube and am now left critical of the youtube 'community' and some other users.. basically in this conversation I was intrigued to learn that a large portion of the tube community view 'the group' that we are all in as a major breakdown in the youtube community, apparently a fair few of us are seen as underlings and groupies to the highest subbed members and no one gives a toss about anyone outside the group.

The intention of this convo was not to be malicious but to try make me see 'sense' about our group and that we were being pretty neglegant of those around us, as well as the fact that some people within it are pretty horrible. Well tbh this chat has had the opposite approach, all I've seen is a fair amount of bitchiness on the outside of our group. If we're supposed to be the break down in society how comes all the bitchniess appears to be coming through outside it? It appeared the person I talked to had obvs had this convo with an extensive number of people and therefore surely you are the ones who are bringing forth the bitterness and divide between us and other people?

Personally I don't see our group of friends as a 'group' of egotistical stuck up youtubers, well obviously I wouldn't being inside it. But I really don't understand how people can conceive that image when it is clear to all those within in it that we are merely a group of friends who get on well and want to see more of each other. I think it's fair to say that when we're all together youtube barely comes into it, sure there's a few cameras, injokes, etc. but at the end of the day we're all there because we're friends and enjoy each others company. I just wish people could take that image of us instead of this hierachal group who feels they are so much better than the rest.

This 'group' of people happen to contain some of the people I hold nearest to me in the entire world and I don't give a screw if people see me as the groupy and follower because my friends and I all know that's bollocks. So I guess this blog was just a way of saying, to all those who feel like because they're on the outside of the group we're a bunch of unapproachable wankers and that we've done society an injustice by being friends, screw you because the friendships we've formed go deeper than merely a video on youtube.

<3

TOO FOWSAND AND NYNE

2009-01-02T17:54:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! =D

So I finally got home at 12.30 this morning (3rd).. a bit later than anticipated but heyho neverminds aye ;] had the most amazing new years evuh with the majority of people that I love most in the world :) I wanted to write a brief summary of the best moments but as it was 4 days long there's a bloody lot of them!! So basically lets just say raving with a strobe light and glowsticks to 90's music is certainly the best way to welcome in the new year :)

Eeeep I'm so so so happy now, but sad too because it's SO quiet, and now I've become accustomed to being surrounded by epicness my house is just lame :( Miss you all already!!!

MONSTA KILL BLUD

I'm tired now so nightnight - don't let the bedbugs bite ;]

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

p.s. thanks Dave for having us all over, you are truly awesome!!

p.p.s I don't know what to think/do now :( but <3333 because you're awesome and ily.

Ians :]

2008-11-09T13:51:00.000-08:00

*Yawns* okay I got home 10minutes ago from Ians and I'm so completely and utterly exhausted so I'ma make this blog quick :]

Basically this weekend was actually epic and thank you so much Ian for having us all over!! It was lovely (as ever) to see everyone and hope you all had a great time <3 Ice skating was awesome and we so should all go again sometime =D

Erm, I've just realised I have to give a presentation tomorrow on wuthering heights so I guess I should go read it before I collapse in a heap -.-

nightnight, hope everyone got back safely <3

xxxxxxxxx

Catdevil

2008-11-07T10:12:00.000-08:00

So presently I'm sitting here with devil horns on and cat whiskers like some confused devilcatthing. Oh dears for not being able to choose a halloween outfit -.-

Fright Night

2008-10-31T17:58:00.001-07:00

(I'll change this picture of me to one of us all when they're all on facebook!)

I can't sleep stupid frigging zombies and asylum people etc =[ best halloween ever though, thanks so much for organising it Myles <3

I realise most of the people who read this were there so I cba to go into depth, but fright night's pretty great! :]

I think we've all established that I'm pretty much a big big wimp though =[

Thank you for looking after me <3 se7ern ="[

Loveyoualllots xxxxxxxxxx

I really love

2008-10-27T08:55:00.000-07:00

These people..

I just found all these and they made me smile :)

Erm nothing much else I wanted to say except I'm sorry if I've worried any of you lately, I'm fine promise <3 thanks for asking though!!

Also, MiniDave, Pav, Tom (ProdInc) and Benjy are some of the loveliest people ever <3

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Way too much to do, way too little time.

2008-10-22T08:13:00.000-07:00

I'm in a really really pathetic mood today. It's wayyy too cold. I really want a hug right now :(

Mmm I just want to curl up on the sofa with a box of chocolates, icecream and hot chocolate then watch a tragic film that's accurate. But nooo because I have to go to work to earn monies that I don't really need right now.

My list of things to do is endless.
- DT/Graphics CWK
- History Project
- English Essay (Wuthering Heights)
- English Presentation
- Theatre Studies Essay x2
- Book Review/Presentation

Then I need to redraft/do the whole of my personal statement *sigh*, oh and read Rebecca, Jane Eyre, Lorna Doone and Green Darkness - Just so I can refer to them in the bleeding statement *dies*

Way too much to do, way too little time.
Thank Fuck for half term.
xxxxxxxxx

Best Birthday Ever!

2008-10-13T15:45:00.000-07:00

So I'm sleep deprived beyond belief, broke and missing a lot of people but this has been quite possibly the best birthday ever!

Thursday - London Premiere, Pubs, Clubs and Shed
Friday - Met PJ and Meal with the "friends I see everyday who aren't originally from the internet" friends
Saturday/Sunday - My birthday gathering :)

oh my word I've been a busy bee but had an immense time!! I love you all so much so thanks for making it so special! =] especially those of you who travelled down to come!!

<3
Sophie, Hatti, Laura, Pav, Tom, PJ, Darren, Dave, Ian, Tino, Mark, Paul, James, Lex, Chris, Doug,
<3

Miss you all and hope to see you all soon <3 xxxxxxxxxxxx

Eeeeeek Adultness :]

2008-10-10T03:18:00.000-07:00

These people are the loveliest people ever!! :)

I can't embed Darren's but it's here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q6ntUweQlI :)
he made my day!! =D

I had an amazing 18th thank you to everyone who wished me Happy Birthday and that jazz!! I'm too hungover/icky to write details so here's a summary of last night:
- Premiere - Free Wine - Wine bars - Making the barmaid ID me - downing 6 glasses of wine - Pub crawl - ice cream - calling Pav - apple pie!! (lol) - I miss you - mcr - chav music - passing out in carl's shed - emma vs robins - chats with rusty -

awhhhhhh it was epic. thanks xxxxxxx

Raw Emotions

2008-09-09T11:32:00.001-07:00

I don't think that any of us are honest enough.
We say one thing when we mean another,
We smile through our tears and cry through laughter.
We close our ears and eyes on the harsh realities that surround us and picture our own safe havens where we can pretend that everything's okay, that we're okay and that it's all for the better.

Maybe it's just me but surely I can't be the only one who feels their emotions, thoughts and feelings are hampered. That we have to keep quiet to protect the feelings of others and keep our real desires locked up for fear of failure or rejection.

But I know that I don't have the confidence to go against this myself,
so I guess that I'll just have to learn to live with the shadows of secrets.

Jade xxxxxx

LULZ

2008-09-07T15:22:00.000-07:00

"HI IM JADE AND WELCOME TO IAN'S CHANNEL"

Okay, so now that all of youtube's seen me gattered on ian's channel what more can I do? ha

on another note I love Pav more than there is stars in the sky :] and he has permission to shoot me in the head should I annoy him :] so yay! (and I really really do love him more than most people because he's brilliant, plus he puts up with my insessant moaning and bitching lol). But yes I love you lots Pav<3 http://www.theonlyrelease.co.uk/ is premiering ON MY BIRTHDAY EEEEE I get to go to like a proper premier in London for it xD so so so excited :] plus I'm the main person on the poster with Clive ZOMGZ =]

xxxxxxxxx

Because I love them <3

2008-09-02T07:48:00.001-07:00

Youstage

2008-09-01T12:07:00.000-07:00

Okay so let's start off with Youstage. It was amazingment in a festival! So Reading was fecking insanely great but this was so different, unique and wonderful; although there were so many people I really wish were there the people who did go were like a family and community and I guess that's what youtube's about. Let me realliterate what I just said: basically the community of Youtube is so lovely that everyone got along swell... Stephen said it was better than the USA ones because we are all so close and I hope that's true :) So yes it was amazing and I love you all people who went - especially Sophie, Tom, Ian and Laura :D (but also Sin, GC, Liam, and everyone else who I can't list it'll take too long..)

Jadeykinsss xxxxxxx

Off To Another Festival

2008-08-28T15:25:00.000-07:00

Gosh this last month feels like a whirl wind, after Youstage I'll have been camping for 18 days overall this month... mental!! anyway so I'm off to yet another festival (Festinho/Youstage) in Suffolk tomorrow which should be grand =D dead excited!! I wish that Hatti, Pav, PJ and Beth can go though!! I'm sad that they can't =[ but hey it's not tooo long before my birthday etc etc..

anyway so yeah today has been really chillaxed and just ordinary, but I've loved it :) I've spent the day reasonably happy and then this evening ecstatic - it's a really small silly reason that I am so happy but hey I don't care, anything that makes you smile is a good thing right? =D

oh and I got back into Monkey Dust - PJ's fault lol, tis hilarious check it out :)

Love xxxxxx